The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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