threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
