It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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