What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
