Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
