brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
