Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
