This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
