Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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