I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
