im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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