i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
