y did u give ur computer a hand job?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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