The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
bring money and cleavage
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
