their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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