I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
