I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
