i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
