Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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