I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
