so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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