i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
