mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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