That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
