K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
