I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can Purell be used as lube?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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