And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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