He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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