I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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