I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
