did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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