A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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