My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
