omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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