I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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