she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
