That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
