question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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