I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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