I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
