I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
