I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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