FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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