I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Every concussion has its silver lining
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
