just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
