yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
