Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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