I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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