I think my vagina is haunted
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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