i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
