I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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