Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
